We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
