BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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