people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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