when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
