Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I currently don't understand fingers.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
