just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's blow job season.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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