i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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