Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
