dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
