how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
