Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
