we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
