The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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