Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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