you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
