is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
