he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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