i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
