Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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