Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
