Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
