Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
