Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
