3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
