they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
