Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
