i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
