Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
