someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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