I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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