I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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