smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
