Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
