I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
