I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
