What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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