He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
