Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
