We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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