he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
operation have a gay friend backfired
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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