my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
