i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
