i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
there was a trapeze. enough said
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize