Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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