i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
oh god was she eating orange peels again
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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