Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
