they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
