Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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