already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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