just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
