I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Still dying that you shit outside
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
