Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You smell like stripper and shame
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
