I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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