Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize