i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
