So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
