I like to think it a success when the cops are called
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
